The Adventures of Shnarky, king of the Eevees
by lightdanger
Summary: This is a story that my Boy friend made up on the spot, wrote down, and sent to me to edit and post on FF. It is pure Crack.
1. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 1

Chapter one:

Shnarky was king of the eevees. Everyday he would wake up and groom his soft golden fur until it had a shine that could rival a Sunflora. He would prance about in the Gracidea flower field and play with his friend Bilbo the Mew. Nobody was allowed to know about Bilbo because if he got captured then it would be very bad for the forest. One day Shnarky decided he wanted to leave the forest to go meet some new friends.

One day when Shnarky was walking around a forest he came across a girl. Her name was Hikari spronken and she was totally awesome and wanted to chill with Shnarky. Shnarky would have loved to go with Spronken but he knew he really belonged back in his kingdom with Bilbo and the Gracidea flowers. So Spronken and Shnarky said their goodbyes as Shnarky headed back home.


	2. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 2

Chapter two: Shnarky goes shopping

Shnarky was sitting on his throne in the forest when he was very hungry. Sadly all of his royal subjects were on vacation with Bilbo the Mew. Shnarky decided he needed to go to the local supermarket run by mean old Mr. Gengar.

On his way he encountered the 'Chu family. Baby Pichu who was in Mama Pikachu's arms said "Hey Shnarky! What's goin on homedog?" Shnarky turned to Papa Raichu and said, "Why aren't you on vacation with everybody else?" "Ma cuzins ahe cumin in frum Isshu todaye." Papa Raichu replied in his heavy Kanto dialect. "Gesundheit" Shnarky said back, and was on his way.

Shnarky arrived after many hours of traveling at Gengars Wonder Awesome Mega Superstore Extraordinaire. He looked through the aisles and realised that he didn't know how to cook. Old man Gengar was very impatient. "Hey ya dang kid! You gonna buy something?" "I'm not a kid! I'm Shnarky, king of the Eevees." "Well I don't care if you're the contest master or whatever, you gotta buy something or git out"

After a few more minutes of looking, Shnarky decided to get some ramen. He payed for the ramen using his very shiny fur as currency as everyone did in the kingdom of the Eevees.

Shnarky arrived back in his castle in the forest to see a big surprise. Everyone including Bilbo the Mew were waiting at the castle. "Oh wow," exclaimed Shnarky. "You guys remembered my birthday!" "Of corse weh did silleh" said Papa Raichu. Then they all laughed and ate Shnarky's ramen.


	3. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 3

Disclaimer: So here is the deal, this disclaimer is far overdue but whatever. This is fan-fic, nothing more then a bunch of random ideas thrown together at the last minute by a pair of overactive fans. Neither myself nor my Boyfriend own any part of Nintendo and any references to their games (Pokemon, Mario, Earthbound, Zelda, etc) is strictly for the fans by the fans, though some stock options would be nice... but I digress. On with the story!

Shnary king of the Eevees Part 3

Shnarky's Big Mini Adventure

Shnarky was bored. He decided to go see what Bilbo the Mew was up to. He wen't over to Bilbo's house and found Jeremy the Celebi hanging with Bilbo. "Hey shnarky! You are just in time to see my latest invention. It's a time machine!"

"Wow that's awesome... Why?" asked Shnarky. "What do you mean 'Why'?" queried Jeremy. "Well aren't you a Celebi? Can't you travel through time and stuff?" "That's a common misconception. Anyway, I call it 'A Link To The Past!" replied Jeremy.

"Do you want to try it out?" asked Bilbo. "No thanks. Maybe another time. I'm busy preparing my big speech for tomorrows Forest Festival" "Alright, catch you later then!"


	4. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 4

Chapter 4

Shanrky King of the Eevees Part 4

The Forest Festival

It was the day of the Epic Forest Festival. Shnarky watched as the Machoke all carried the decorations into the forest clearing. "Be careful with those power cables. We wouldn't want to get an electrical fire in the forest" Bilbo the Mew instructed the Machokes. They nodded in agreement. One of the Machokes was looking away in a sinister way. Shnarky took note of the suspicious Machoke.

Jeremy the Celebi flew over to Shnarky. "Ready for your big speech?" he queried. "Almost," Shnarky replied, "I just need to go over it a few more times. By the way, do you know who that strange and

sinister looking Machoke over there is?" Jeremy turned in the direction that Shnarky was pointing. "Hmm, can't say that I recognise him at all. Anyway, I'll let you get back to your speech preparation."

Finally the big moment came and Shnarky got up on the stage, which was wired by the odd Machoke, to deliver his speech. "My fellow Pokemanz, today we-" "HOLD IT!" came a voice from the crowd. The dude walked up to Shnarky.

"Oh no! It's my evil twin brother Shranky!"


	5. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 5

Shnarky 5

Shnarky and the Vast Plothole

"Pokeman oh man, I sure am tired. It feels like I've been asleep for a while..." Shnarky said

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. My bad," said Miss Musharna, who was standing over Shnarky's bed.

"The last thing I remember, I was speaking at the Epic Forest Festival and I saw my evil brother Shranky... What happened after that?" Shnarky wondered aloud.

"Yeah, that was a year ago," replied Bilbo the Mew. "I can't be bothered to remember things for that long!"

"Oh, well that seems fair enough..." Shnarky answered back. Then he turned over and went back to sleep.


	6. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 6

Shnarky 6

* * *

Shnarky King of the Eevees Presents:

Bilbo The Mews Grand Adventure- A Shnarky Side-story

* * *

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" Shouted Bilbo the Mew as a fruitfly zoomed around his head.

"Big Brother," young big Baggins the Mewtwo spoke up, "when are we gonna get to-"

"CONFOUND THESE INFERNAL FLYING CREATURES! FRUITFLY USED ANNOY! IT'S SUPER FREAKIN EFFECTIVE!" Bilbo continued his shouting as he swung his arms aimlessly at the insects.

"Big brother? Are you even listening to me?"

"FFFFFFFUUU! I'm too busy trying to annihilate this creature!" Bilbo began to shoot hyperbeams at the bug.

"Hey, aren't you not supposed to leave the forest? Because it would be bad if you got caught?"

"Huh?" Bilbo finally gave Baggins his attention. "Who ever said that?"

"The Narrator. In the first chapter," Baggins answered.

"Well he doesn't know what he's talking about! And don't break the fourth wall!", retorted Bilbo"

"Sorry, it was an accident..."

"No, you know what was an accident? Mom and Dad when they had you!", Bilbo the Mew shouted at his brother.

"How do you 'accidentally' spend millions of poke`dollars on a complicated cloning process?", Baggins the Mewtwo asked, knowing in his heart that he was loved by his parents.

"I dunno. I'm just frustrated with this DARN FRUITFLY! GO AWAY! WE DON'T HAVE ANY FRUIT!"

Baggins laughed, and they continued their train ride.

* * *

8 days of Shnraky is off to a roaring start! Though one story is up late is was ready in time and was posted elsewhere.

I do not know Pokemon, they are a property of Nintendo

Shnarky, Bilbo, and Baggins are all characters in the Shnarky series are created for fun.


	7. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 7

Shnarky 7

The Fantastic Frolick

Shnarky was bored. He longed for the old days when he didn't actually talk and would frolick in the Gracidea flowers. He decided to go for a walk to his old frolicking grounds.

Along the way, he ran into Bilbo the Mew and his brother Baggins. They had just gotten off the train from their trip.

"Hello there, friends!", said Shnarky. "How was your trip to... where did you go?"

"Oh hey Superbro," replied Bilbo, using his inexplicable nickname for the Eevee king. "Didn't I tell you? We went out to- DAGNABBIT! THIS THING SERIOUSLY FOLLOWED ME HOME?"

Shnarky gave a look towards Baggins and they both shrugged. Shnarky wandered off, leaving Bilbo swatting aimlessly at the fruitfly that had plagued their entire trip.

As Shnarky continued to the flower field, he realized he was getting tired. He certainly wasn't as young as he used to be. He kept on trekking and finally arrived at the edge of the field, and fell asleep at it's edge from pure exhaustion.


	8. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 8

Shnarky 8

Shnarky King of the Eevees

The Neverending Nap

Shnarky was tired from his long journey to the flower fields. He collapsed and decided he would take a nap. No adventures today. He was far too tired.

As Shnarky dreamed, he imagined himself walking from the castle to the flower field. It was a long trek, but he knew it was what he wanted. As he arrived at the edge of the forest in his mind, he collapsed from exhaustion and began a dream within a dream.

In his dream within a dream, he was a pickle in a jar. Shnarky then woke up from all of his dreams. "I could sure go for a pickle right about now..."


	9. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 9

Mean Mr. Gengars Secret

Shnarky 9

Shnarky was hungry. He went into his cabinet to see what there was to eat. A single box of ramen was sitting on the shelf. "Well, I guess it's time to go shopping"

Shnarky enlisted the help of Bilbo the Mew and Baggins the Mewtwo to carry groceries. After all, he was only an Eevee. He had no way of carrying all that ramen by himself.

"Why am I helping you shop?" asked Bilbo?

"Didn't you read the last paragraph?" retorted Baggins.

"what have I told you about wall breaking!" snapped Bilbo.

"What are you two going on about back there?" asked Shnarky.

"Nothing," they both answered.

When they got outside the store, they heard a strange beeping noise. Shnarky had a feeling he knew what the noise was, but felt it made no sense to be coming from inside Mean Mr Gengars shop. There was no way he would allow it. Unless...

Shnarky and the brothers burst into the shop to see Mr Gengar sitting behind the counter and fumbling to hide his video game that he had been playing. "AH! Ya dang kids. What do ya think yer doin sneakin up on a guy like that. Ya scared me!" hollered Mr Gengar.

"WE scared YOU? You do realize the irony in that, right?" asked Bilbo.

"I'm not sure that's how irony works" interrupted Baggins.

"Shaddup ya dang kids!" shouted Mr Gengar. "Well, I guess it can't be helped. Now you know my secret. I like these newfangled vidya games. But you better keep it a secret!"

"We will," said Shnarky. "so tell me, what were you playing?"

"Pokemon."


	10. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 10

Shnarky 10

Shnarky and the Magnificent Kurissumassu Bush

It was a cold wintery night. Shnarky was on his way over to Jeremy the Celebi's temple. He had been invited there to see Jeremy's latest invention. He approached the temple doors and rang the strange bell-like contraption.

A voice emanated through a small box next to the door, "Ah, Shnarky. Just in time. Please, come right in." Shnarky did as Jeremy's voice instructed.

As Shnarky entered the hall, a small robot escorted him through the temple and into the basement, where Jeremy was standing next to a small device. The device had a dial and some buttons on it.

"Shnarky! So glad you could come!" Jeremy said.

"So what have you invented this time?" asked Shnarky. "I hope it's a new mode of transportation. I seem to be having a weird run of dizzy spells these days..."

"Oh come now, it's not something as simple as that. I've invented a holiday!" Jeremy exclaimed.

"A holiday?" Shnarky replied.

"A holiday!" Jeremy exclaimed again. "I call it Kurissumassu!"

"How do you invent a holiday?" Shnarky questioned with a puzzled and slightly worried look on his face.

"DONT QUESTION A GENIUS! Watch!" Jeremy turned the dial to '1' and pushed a big red button. The room swirled around them for a moment, and all of a sudden, a bush appeared. Then it started to rain in the room.

"HAPPY KURISSUMASSU!" Shouted Shnarky, before placing a paw to his mouth. "Wait, what just happened?"

"Like I said," replied Jeremy, "I invented a holiday. I only localized it to this room though."

"So what kind of holiday is it?" Shnarky was getting into a more festive mood.

"I'm not entirely sure, but hopefully it's a good one... Anyway, I have big plans for this one!" Jeremy turned his device back to '0'. The room swirled back to normal as Jeremy began hovering out of the room.

As Shnarky followed his Celebi friend out of the temple, he couldn't help but wonder where they were going.

After a bit of wandering (and Shnarky NOT passing out) they arrived at the center of the kingdom. Jeremy pulled out his device as he prepared to try something again.

"I certainly hope you know what you are doing..." said Shnarky, with worry in his voice.

"Who me?" Jeremy asked as he turned his device to '11', the maximum setting. "I never know what I'm doing." He pushed the big red button again.

Reality swirled around the entire kingdom. Suddenly a giant bush appeared in the center of the courtyard and it began to rain buckets worth of water. A massive octagon appeared on top of the bush. Then from beneath the bush, all of Shnarky's friends appeared, all dressed in the traditional Kurissumassu garb; blue and orange plaid togas.

Everyone who was anyone in the kingdom was there. Mr and Mrs. Chu were helping baby Pichu open his pokeball shaped item boxes.

Bilbo and Baggins were drinking their MooMoo milk near the bush as the fruitfly buzzed around Bilbo's ear. Mean Mr. Gengar was hiding in a corner playing his video games, but they were festive video games. Miss Musharna approached the team of hard working Machoke and the one sinister Machoke to wish them all a happy Kurissumassu.

Shranky, Shnarky's evil twin brother, who had a bit too much MooMoo milk and was drunk off of it went over to embrace his brother, thinking he was a cute Espion.

Even Shine the Wonder Gligar was there. He was stringing up the string cheese on the bush.

Shnarky was so happy to see everyone. "Shine, you little pervert. Get over here buddy!"

Shine flew down to Shnarky and said his usual catchphrase "WAZZAAAAAP!"

"Oh man," Shnarky said. "Everybody's here! But it feels like someone's missing..."

"Shnarky? Is that you?" a voice came from behind the cheesy bush. Out popped Hikari Spronken, the human that Shnarky had met so long ago. As she came over to embrace Shnarky, Shine pulled his usual stunt, and flew between the girls legs, hoping to get a peek at what there might be. She, however, was wearing a swimsuit.

As everyone gathered in the pouring rain, they began to chant old pirate shanties, as was Kurissumassu tradition.


	11. SHNARKY, KING OF THE EEVEES PART 10 5

Chapter 10.5

Shnarky King of the Eevees  
The Kurrissumassu That Never Was

It was a cold wintery night. Shranky walked through the forest to his friend Jeremy the Celebi's forest temple. Jeremy had been working on a new invention that Shranky commissioned. Jeremy had telepathically informed Shranky that it was ready to be rang the bell-like contraption on the door. A voice came out of a small box nearby. "Ah, Shnarky. Just in time. Please, come right in."

Shranky entered the temple and saw Jeremy the Celebi. "You know I'm not Shnarky, right?" asked Shranky.  
"How do you mean"  
"You just called me Shnarky on that device"  
"Oh, it always says that. Iremember this one time that Bilbo came over and-"  
"Yeah,yeah, that's great. So where is the device?"  
"It's right this way, but first, I'd like you to try this little side project I've been doing." Jeremy handed Shranky a glass filled to the brim with Moo Moo milk with a straw bobbing out. "I bet you can't finish what's in this glass"  
Shranky took the glass with a confused look but proceeded to drink every drop from the glass. "Ha! I used to drink bigger glasses than this back in poke'college!"  
"Well those days seem to be long gone" Jeremy said nodding towards the glass.

Upon closer inspection, Shranky noticed that the glass was full to the brim once again.  
"I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!" shouted Shranky.  
"What challenge? I was just showing you my new bottomless glass. Now then, let's go see the commissioned"  
"No! I must do this or my status as an Eevee is tarnished!"

Shranky left the building while consuming what was his 6th consecutive drink. As he walked outside, he thought he saw a beautiful Sylveon. He stumbled over to the Sylveon, not knowing that he was just drunk, and it was actually his good twin brother, Shnarky, King of the Eevees. "Heeeeeey there! Have I seen you somewhere befoooore?"  
Shnarky gave him astern look and said "You know good and well where we've met, and the many battles we have faced!"

Shranky was having trouble understanding the 'Sylveon'. "Ohhhhh, playing hard to get, huh?"Alright, well I guess I'll have to chase you down later when I'm noton a mission."

After an hour or so of stumbling around, Shranky walked into a bush. He could have sworn that it wasn't there a moment ago, but he was quite inebriated. Shranky looked at his paws as he tried to stand and noticed that he was wearing a blue and orange plaid toga. It seemed strange, but it felt right. Looking beyond the bush, he thought he saw a lovely Espeon. Perhaps he would take another shot with the ladies tonight. Shranky placed an arm around the pokemon, having no idea what a waste of time this effort truly was...


End file.
